Save A Life: REPOST! / Cancer and the Cancer that Plagues Cancer

     The most recent thing to come under our Snark-dar (Snark radar for those of you who lack the linguistic skills to speak Snarkese- I think there's a Rosetta Stone coming out soon for that btw), have been the copious cause related posts on FB. These bulletins are alarming. Well, no, that's not the word... Eye-opening. Uh-uh, nope. Boring? A little, but still not it. Redundant? Getting closer. Ineffectual, useless, worthless, a GREAT big waste of your time and mine? THAT'S IT!!
     You know what we're talking about. Those 'Re-post if you support "fill in the cause." ' Or, the 'Post if you support this particular political agenda.' Or, (our absolute favorite), 'Re-post if you believe in "fill in the deity." ' Because, if you don't re-post, God will know you don't love Him, because God watches ALL things. Even FB. His account is Iam DaFada. I believe He has an additional, Son N. DeHolyghost.... (Is it getting warmer in here, or is it just me?)
     One of the more recent to join the tribe of post spam ('cause let's be real folks- THAT'S what it IS), has been the: 'Re-post if you have a sister, brother, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, neighbor, co-worker, friend of a friend, acquaintance, or sister's mother's father's bishop, who has died from or been affected by cancer.' YOUR post COULD save a life!! And remember, the life you save could be your OWN!!
     Apparently, somewhere on FB, cancer lurks. It goes by the name of Mal Ignant. When you read his profile it says: Chain smoker for fifty plus years, works at Asbestos R Us, and loves to hang out in small, dark spaces. He is available and looking for anyone to love. (Cue in Queen: Find me somebody to lo-ove, find me somebody to lo-ove....) His favorite song is Cancer, by My Chemical Romance, (he's sooo narcissistic, he loves anything about him- he's so vain, he prob'ly thinks this blog is about him...), and his favorite album is No Cure For Cancer, by Denis Leary.
     He is constantly patrolling FB. He is watching all those posts and re-posts. Because each one takes just a little more power away from him. Forget cancer walks, forget donations, forget scientific research. The battle is on FB. It is an epic battle on a not-so-epic battlefield. And he is winning folks. Because you have FAILED to re-post.

　
　

Welcome to the Business of Non-serious Business / Snarkasm Rules

     Okay, here's the deal: We don't KNOW how to do serious. So, if you are coming here for some serious business, you have come to the wrong place. This is not the place for intelligent discussions, mature observations of the world, or politically correct debates. Rather, you have entered the Snark Zone. Here, irony rules and there are no boundaries. We will Snark about everything. Whether you like it or not.
     So let us get down to the super serious non-serious business of formal introductions to our informal Snarkastic shenanigans.
     First, let us meet Heather Voltz. Heather is the sardonic one. Having Wikipedia'ed sardonic, I have come up with this: Among the very ancient people of Sardinia, who were called Sardi or Sardoni, it was customary to kill old people. While killing their old people, the Sardi laughed loudly. This is the origin of notorious sardonic laughter. In short, I should be afraid. Very, very, VERY afraid....
     Then there is me, Tammy Ingham. I am the sarcastic one. Sarcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt, usually conveyed through irony or understatement. Most authorities distinguish sarcasm from irony; however, others argue that sarcasm may or often does involve irony. Thank you, Wikipedia.
     I do so love irony. Even Wikipedia says so. As Heather will tell you, "Irony is delicious. Especially with ketchup and pickles." I prefer mine with a little mustard.
     Lastly, our mascot, Snarky (TM'ed thank you very much), the loveable orange, Snark-wand toting dinosaur, is the cutest of the three of us. Be warned, she is not particularly politically correct, her Snarkasm knows no bounds, and she is likely to step on someone's toes with her size 22 1/2 clodhoppers.
     Heather would very much like to make her into a plushy toy...

Snarky The Snarkmonster

This is not a real post.

This is a post placeholder that in all honesty will probably be deleted after one of us gets off our ass and posts a real post. For though I may be a hooligan, I try not to be all internet vandal...ly? Yeah, that. I just hate seeing the super sexy Snark blog look all naked, so yeah. Plus I wanted to try out my spiffy contributor powers. :) Powers my cohort may come to regret.